Dear Russell Crowe:
I would really appreciate it if you would kindly arrive at my front door and wisk me away to a far off place. I feel somehow I went down the wrong path in life and was really meant for a life of glamor and pampering and minions to to my bidding. Since you are a hottie, I've decided that you are the one to help me achieve my dreams. Thanks so much, I'm all packed.
most utterly sincerely,